Wednesday, September 2, 2009

{Flight Lessons}

So very true. Funny, A little (very, smile!), cut and bruised deep from the journey, but it is still all good, because I realize that I am becoming authentic. Or, rather in truth, God is becoming authentic in me and I am becoming real and not a fake. Only soul growth can come from this. I know you are hearing me people!

The shortest and surest way to 
live with honor in the world is to be
in reality what we would appear to be.
-- Socrates

Did you know that you can play games and trick yourself out of depression. I have done this by thinking of sunshine, calling my dearest family and friends to giggle...or well, having a friend call and say hey...get out of bed, wash your hair and face your day, dust yourself off, look towards Gods face, be real and don't forget to find a smile. I have another friend that sends prayers to me and casts me sunshine just because it is good and one precious soul that makes me smile so much from the inside that I cannot help but have it throw sunshine and amazing smiles all over the place. Thank you friend, you are precious! I pray I can bless you all back a million fold!

Did you know that when a caterpillar goes into it's cocoon it almost completely liquifies before morphing into a much more fascinating information that I am amazed by. Yep, I have been liquified so to speak! No, it did not feel good!
I have gone through what seems to be every stage so far of
a caterpillar's stages to become a butterfly, but am now in this cocoon stage that I have just slightly (and I don't use that term loosely) broken to air, through a very tiny hole. I can see sunshine glistening, and smell and sense that fresh air is available. I am still in protective mode. My friends and family goodness have helped me so much through this. I owe them and God my life and owe them for helping me stand when I did not know if I could. To remind me to breathe in and breathe out. To give me faith and help me to stand strong in that.
....or just help me smile and remind me that is healthy too.

I pray I can give all of this kind of sunshine, strength, smiles and more to you all and many.

Goodness, I have tried to do this with integrity.
To be careful with friendships and still get burned, even though I thought I guarded myself well. I honestly think my neighbors say this when I drive down the road...."Yep, here she comes down the road to her home that sits as the only house in the very center of the cul-du-sac... she waived...she opened her garage door...and....she is in and the door is shut and she (me) is back in her cocoon."...and they giggle and say, "Bless Her". As if this home has become my cocoon of sorts. In here I have learned to enjoy my own company, face me and face my lonely. I have learned to pray and listen. Still learning that! I have learned who is my friend and who is not. I have learned even in many friendships to remain careful and keep integrity about me. What I have found is that there are going to be fires in life. Ones that we do not create, yet are standing in the middle of. But realize that God is there to stand with me boldly and gracefully. I pray that he is teaching me how to take my fierce and make it into a fierce gracefulness that is real and beams light of him. I pray that he is teaching me not to navel gaze so to speak but to pray and serve and love others and move my focus off of me. I know that is when He is blessed and goodness, I want to bless and please him alone with everything in me! I just do!

I know that God would never wish harm to me, but has desired me to grow and allowing things so that I can be all that he wants me to be. Not there yet God, but he knows that I am thankful and stronger for this journey.

What I realize is that God does have to take us through hard in order to move our hearts to better.  If we can do this, I am realizing that this is where strength, character and true integrity sit in our hearts. This is where the face of God eventually shines to others as we become less us and more likened to Him.

I know that this is not exactly a happy or cheery, Labor Day wish, but for anyone else going through life challenges, know that I would pray for you if you needed me to and will if you request. Know that God is real and can meet you right there in the middle of your storm if you will allow him.

"...there will I be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your life, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and Mine angels round about you, to bear you up." 

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Phil: 4:13

Mwuah and many smiles and prayers to you all!


Anonymous said...

Hi Kristen,
I've never commented on here before. Or at least not that I can remember. But I feel I am right there with you with every post. I don't have a blog of my own. Don't know how I would keep up with it. You are so talented. Your words are so precious and heart felt...You don't miss a beat, reaching right down to the bottom of your soul and enlightening us all with your spirit. You have touched me with each of your posts. Life is a struggle, but knowing that so many of us are all feeling and going through similar situations/feelings makes it all feel more normal ~ Makes life seem all worthwhile ~ Forever changing ~ Does that make sense? I admire you for dipping into pieces of your life and painting them on your pages...Thank you, Thank you..from one butterfly to another ~ in fact I have compared myself to a dragonfly in the past ~ as I'm going through this life and forever changing ~


Anonymous said...

Wow! I am sure no truer words have ever been spoken. You are an amazing talent that touches many right where it is real. Thank you for your words as they seem to make one realize what can be. I understand that you feel you are not there yet but in your heartfelt thoughts and words, you are well on your way. God Bless You and Thank you for your voice.

paige said...

a beautiful testimony!!!!

Farmgirl Paints said...

You my dear are the light at the top of the hill. The beacon for all to see. Way to let people see the real you and to offer your prayers. What a blessing to give.

Great post are going to make such a beautiful butterfly:)

LuLu said...

My husband just gave me an old book called, "Hope For The Flowers" and this reminded me of it. Your post is so heartfelt and moving. I passing my yellow balloons to you my friend and attaching a wish with your name on it. Your light shines bright!

mimi charmante said...

sweet girl, you are one of the strongest, most supportive, wonderful girls that I *know* and I think the growing that you are doing is going to give you even more strength. You are an incredible inspiration to people, and so open with your own pain and loneliness. I feel lucky to have met you my friend~

Lissa said...

This is such a beautiful story! So well written! I sent you an email yesterday. Did you get it? Thinking of you.

Mary.- said...

i read this, and i feel very touch for this, sometimes i feel like that, and you give so beautiful words to us, that makes me think in my life and how i live it, i really enjoy reading this. i hope you just the best.
greetings from Temuco, Chile. yeah sudamerica .

Southern Sugar said...

Bless you friend. Thank you for sharing your heart. I am pretty sure what I am going through now is being mush. But I'm determined to sprout wings. Much love to you!

Cherie Wilson said...

Right with you........growing pains:) Liquid~ I like that image. It's so much more than just being sad......
A hard day here too, today.....the seasons change and a scholarship fundraiser tonight for my BFF who passed away 2 years ago (seems like 2 days, today!!) ~Makes today tender. Your words are healing salve. Thankfully you are getting your salve from the Lord and spilling it out on everyone else in the process. (Hmmm....I wonder if the liquid turns to salve before it Chrystalizes?!) LOL!!
God so adores you and is so very proud of you dear one!!! I always think of Psalm 91 and it is a day to "Tuck Under" His wing. Nothing wrong with that. I like the days to soar on top of His wing too~ when the wind rushes thru my hair and I hang on for the joyful free ride. No matter~ staying close to the wing of our Almighty God is the only place to be!! God bless you today, right where you are Sister. Mwah recieved and back at ya. "Keep on keepin on" my friend Sharon said:)

Raining Pearls said...

Your words speak to me and my broken heart. I'm still in the liquid stage, but since learning to trust Him with all my heart I think someday we both will soar like the beautiful butterflies He has made us.