Tuesday, October 20, 2009

{The Swing with Wings...A Fairy-tale of sorts.}

This is the story of Love. Sorry it is long my friends.

So, the story begins of a woman that has had well...

...what a newscaster would call a Disaster, "Spectacular" many months!

...Her soul is bruised and tattered.
She felt fear, sadness and angry as if she was fighting a war.
She thought she had it all together in her perfectionist mind.
She was sadly mistaken! Bless Her, sigh!

She WAS in fact and well...to keep it real with you, IS still fighting a war
that broke her faith in God, in People, the World, her Fairy-Tale.

Dare I mention she found she is very Brave inside of her heart.

{Image is of Jasmine from Aladdin: Images are called Fairy-tale gone bad.}
Oh, how this girl resonates with this image!

...She always believed in a glass that could not just be half-full, but overflowing.

...but things happen in life and dreams can get shattered. Hers did.

{Image is of Sleeping Beauty at The Bar: Again....Fairy-tale gone bad. It happens people!}
No, she did not resort to this! She wanted to, but did not. She still could, but won't.

Trust me girlies, she tried to keep putting water
in the glass to get it even half full!

...but there were cracks and the water kept dripping out.

...and people a butterfly cannot fly with water on ones wings...It ain't happening!

The cracks in the glass shown of prisms and she said even to that,
"Well, isn't that pretty."
...and even tried to use her reasonings to make it seem good.

Then one night, the glass (her heart) broke and
the water went ALL over the floor.

She quickly tried to gather the glass and water in her hands. Crazy right!

She could not see that one cannot pick up spilled-water with their hands.

She believed it possible. She was in a panic people what can I say! Smile.

She held it all with tears and looked closely to see if there is a way to fuse
it back together and get the water...yep, all of it, back in the glass.

People, she was panicked! And panic in that state isn't pretty!

She is a control freak and stubborn/feisty after all...with a hint of OCD {Smile}! Oh My!
Where there is a will there is a way people. Or she felt that way at least.

She had no clue of the butterfly effect that was about
to ensue that God had planned for her!

But God said,
"Now lay the pieces down right here my dear at my feet.
...Please trust Me.
And quit trying so hard. You can touch the glass and water,
but that won't do anything.
Giving them to me is where faith is built
and where I make beauty for ashes. "

He then said,
"Place your heart in my hands and rest your weary head
and I, God will hold you up and stream light through
your soul like you have never known before."

He is doing this now in beautiful fractals of light
and showing her what real BRAVE is,
so she can stand in FAITH and FLY the way she was meant to SOAR all along!

...I am speaking of my heart and not any sickness.
...I am speaking about the way I viewed God, My People, The World
.....My Fairy-Tale.

Have any of you ever had your heart so broken like this?
Where it challenged all that you believe?

...I am finding forgiveness and allow God to be the real and brave in me.
...I am for once allowing God to be true in his way and not my picture.
...I am giving Him my full attention.

Anything worthwhile is worth the investment.

Yes, yes I do talk of my relationship with God on my blog.
I am not talking about religion or being religious. Please forgive if that offends.
I am talking about a living and breathing relationship with our creator.
He is amazing by the way!

Oh yes, I have failed Christ, not just once but throughout my life!
But He just smiled and held my face and then held me tightly
until streams of water that were in the pretty broken glass of mine flowed.
He caught and is catching each one and promised He will make good of them.

He is now responsible for how the glass gets renewed.
I don't have to figure it out, but more learn to sit in His presence
quietly and really listen and pray for the people I love.

So, on with the story...

In August a little over a month into finally
seeing the brave that was in me all along.
I was yearning to gain strength to fly, to believe it is possible to be whole.

My Mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
Albiet to move my heart to brave. She is good like that.
I have never been into gifts so this is hard for me.
I told her I always wanted a twin bed swing to put at my
house and watch the stars and sparkle view of the town lights below.
A place where peace resides.
I knew she knew so much about woodworking.
I had no clue to the vastness of her knowledge! Amazing!

Her suggestion: "We should build it together!"
And so She, My niece Peyton Grace and I did just that.
I wish each of you could build one with my Mom too.
The experience and time was so much more than any swing could offer.

This story is really about a Mamma's heart to
show her baby girl at 44 years old to fly.

She called to read this to me yesterday...
"The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets. Jesus explained.
The truth is they are more shadow than reality. So they seem bigger in the dark.
When the light shines into the places where they live inside you,
you start to see them for what they are."
-The Shack

So true.

Here is my Mom below, the giver of wings.
It is easy to say this because she quickly gives the
glory right back to the one that created the wings in the first place.

She would truly give you wings too and then show you how to fly/soar.

My Mom is Amazing to Me. She is My Person. She is a lover of peoples hearts.
She is so very much the wind that is strong and pure beneath my wings.
She just is. I pray I am even a hint of that for her too!
She desires to see all her babies whether hers by birth, or
just a soul she sees needs a peaceful place to rest and fly.
In that I watch her soar as she says "See you can do this, I will show you how!"
...and she does.

She went to her next door neighbors daughter's homecoming parade today.
She just wanted Logan to know she cares.
I am in awe of this woman I call My Mom!
She is my Mariposa {My Butterfly}!

My Mom has the heart of a teacher who smiles gently
when one achieves even the smallest of details.

She is SOUL~SHINE in EVERY sense of those two words!

I am Independent, Brave and Strong because of God through her.
I am Brave not because of the words she has spoken but because of her life walk.
I am Free because she pushes me gently to the point where the
only choice is to have faith and jump.
Because of her walk I realized I wish too to be authentic before Christ.
She would give you that kind of peace and love to
let you know that kind of relationship exists too.

So to my Mom that gave me wings.
Here is a picture of the swing that love, brave, faith and flying are made of.
For this treasure of the love, sweat and tears and smiles put into this,
Mom, I am eternally grateful.

Thank you for believing in me and giving me wings to fly. I love you, I do!

So, in life I wish you to know that what we see our potential is a tiny butterfly.
What God sees is this below! I am not even kidding you!

A real image from the Hubble Space telescope.

I wish you to know that you can fly too! You just can! So please give it a try!
After all you too are A Mariposa! A Butterfly ready to soar.


Raining Pearls said...

Words can't desribe how happy I am for you. We've been on a similar walk these past few months and I think you're turning your corner. I love this post so much. Your Mom is amazing and the swing is beautiful and has such a deeper meaning than just a swing.

I posted today about getting some wind at my back and I think I'll be flying soon as well. Just think of how many of us butterflies will be out there. Can't wait to see you in the sky :)

paige said...

you are indeed blessed that she has taught you so much & inspires you and so many in her world.
i love her too!

Farmgirl Paints said...

I'm so glad to hear that you have a special momma who is your person. My mom is that to me too. Your swing is just beautiful. I can just see you spending hours visiting with your special neice right on that spot. You go girl...soar:)

Stylestance said...

Thanks so much for sharing this story ... you and your Mom are both so beautiful and inspiring :)

Jo said...

What wonderful wings ~ may you continue to heal and grow. You are so blessed to have such an amazing gift in your life ~ I'm sure your mother feels the same about you.


Dita said...

Well, now, I was wondering when you were going to realize all this!

You've been sorely missed, my dear, 'round these parts!

With your mom, every day is Mother's Day (because of your love for her) and every day is YOUR birthday (because of HER love for you, her beautiful flower).
Let that swing be a tangible reminder to you of how desire, hope and dreams do come true with the ones we love by our side AND with belief in ourselves.
Swing gently and enjoy the soft breeze on your skin, the aroma of air around you and the stars above that shine down on your TWINKLE LIFE.....because they really ARE shining down on you...just look up, my friend.

Hugs to you!

Angie said...

I'm so choked up I can barely think of what I want to write. I don't have this kind of relationship with my mother. My childhood was a rough one with my father. I've only recently began my relationship with God. And above all If i'm only 1/2 the inspiration you and your mother are to my daughter - I'll consider myself victorious.

Lissa said...

Kristin!!!! THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN!!! You finally showed Kristin!!! The girl who is my friend! You showed your swing! You showed your heart!!! I love this soooo much and it goes so perfectly with a post that God is laying on my heart if I can just figure out how to get the words out. Oh Girl!!! I'M TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, WHOLEHEARTEDLY PROUD OF YOU!!! YOU'RE WALKING WITH JESUS AND THERE IS NO STOPPING YOU NOW!!!


Southern Sugar said...

I am blessed by this post. Thank you for sharing. You go girl! Love you friend.

Jeanneoli said...

This is the most gorgeous, true, honest post I have ever read!!!! What is it about your posts and my tears...they go together:-)

tara said...

Through struggles we find strength we never knew we had...you my dear are a true expample of strength...thank you for sharing your heart with us, admirable doesn't even begin to describe you..fly like the butterfly God made you to be!xoxo

Julie Harward said...

This is so very beautiful..what a wonderful Mom! I'm so thankful for my Mom who gave to me such a beautiful example of strength, graciousness, humor, fun etc. We are so blessed to have such mothers, who inspire us to be beautiful women and wonderful mothers ourselves. Thank you for sharing these very special thoughts and feelings! (Come say hi:D

Tracey said...

You don't have to apologize for talking about your relationship with the Lord, it is a beautiful and inspiring thing to read about!

Your mom sounds like an incredible person and I'm glad she is there to help you soar...that's what all mom's should strive for!

:) T

Julie said...

This is such a beautiful post! My mom was that person for me too. :) Your swing turned out beautifully.

God is so good!


Anonymous said...

I have a smile in my heart and am eternally grateful for your Mother for what she has given you and who she helped you become. This story moved me more than you know and what a beautiful swing it is! In losing mine Mother recently, it makes me realize what a true gift, giver, teacher, lifter, motivator and roll model each Mother is. And you expresses that in a true heartfelt way. I know she is amazingly proud of who you are. I consider it a blessing for you to share your inspiration in story the way you do. Thank you for you and your light.

Beth said...

Hey there! Nice post and good to hear from you!! Thanks for stopping by my blog. All is well here. Just trying to keep the flu away.


LuLu said...

This is such a heart warming post of your strength and the love your mother has for YOU and all those around her! You are soaring!!! and your swing.... brought tears to my eyes.... built by 3 incredible fabulous, inspiring, women!
sending you so much love,

3 Peanuts said...

Oh my...I am at a loss for words. how wonderful that you strong women worked on this together!!! I am so excited to see what God has ready for you next! BIG HUGS and HAppy Birthday!!!!!!

Cherie Wilson said...

Thankyou for sharing Our Jesus with us all my friend! Lord, thankyou for giving Kristin the gift of words and a heart to spill over! Thank you for Kristin's Mom and her walk with you too! I am sure God wants all of us to walk in the freedom you speak of daily. I have struggled so recently, but he is taking me to a new and higher place.........and then he uses us. He uses you beautifully Miss Mariposa!!! XO

T said...

I'm not even sure how I found your blog, but oh my goodness, that was so beautiful. I LOOOOOONG for that kind of a relationship with my mother and have for years. It just isn't in the cards for me. I am slowly and I mean slowly, learning how to move forward. I have been stuck for so long wanting what you have, and it's time to accept that it will just never be. A very sad truth, but the truth nonetheless. It's time to focus on MY family and being the kind of mother you talked about for my kids. I HAVE to break the cycle. I know you have no idea who I am, but these words are just pouring out of me for some reason. Thanks for listening.

Angelica Bays, TygrLilies.com said...

Ooh. I guess I'm dittoing the last comment. You are very lucky to have such a mom. Enjoy her.

LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious said...

Oh what a beautiful post! It's amazing to have a mother as special as your mother is to you. When I read your post about her giving you wings to soar, I smiled big because my blog was started for the same reason, but because of the wings my grandparents gave me so that I could soar. I even have that listed at the top of my blog. I truly understand exactly what you mean by the comment of being given wings.

Awesome, just awesome!

Lee Ann

prashant said...

Just think of how many of us butterflies will be out there.

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