A little bit of Salt and Light

It just takes a little pinch of salt and a~lot of light! 

If knowing answers to life's questions  
is absolutely necessary to you, then forget the journey.   
You will never make it,  
 {You will never learn or mature in your soul}   
for this is a journey of unknowables,-- 
of unanswered questions,
enigmas, incomprehensibles, 
and most of all, things fair and unfair.
-- Madame Jeanne Guyon 

I like this quote but want to add....
But, so beautiful if we surrender...yes, yes...it all.

 Just really all about prayer, faith, 
surrendering all in trust of the one that loves us most 
 {He loves us better than honey on a buttered biscuit I tell ya! Wink!}  
and He will see this journey through to beautiful.

Yes, we can trust Him.  
{Insight people} I am not good at this always. 
I know you are soooo surprised! {No way! Smile!}

I even played tug~of~war yesterday  in this sort of, 
I will give you this
God if you give me that back to hold. 

As if to amuse Him only to find He really is not amused. 
I know He is saddened that I want to hold it 
and that I don't always trust.

God says, bless her {me}!  
He knows that I know it is not  up for negotiation...
all my stuff that is good and bad!
I know he wants better for me than the stubbornness, 
my fierce~grace, full of independent~fiesty~spirit I have to offer. 

If I could only see things from His view and just trust Him!

If you struggle with this as well, I know He wants better for you than the  
tendencies you might or might not fall to in your nature. 

Do you feel this way too?
Holding onto things with your fists held tight 
with false not so great securities or yuck when He has so much better?

Or, is it just me?

I will continue to be a trier in complete  
surrender and opening my hand to the 
end of my finger tips until I get it gently right and fly. 

I mean who doesn't want to be free of pain!
Raise your hands if you don't want freedom from pain 
and I will try to convince you otherwise!

Just wish sometimes I had a easier time at learning to lay things down,
 prying my hands open gently
and placing my all into the hands of the one that 
can handle it. Just simply surrendering
and humbling myself to lean in and trust God in it all
and stepping on the light before me in trust.
Sometimes I trick myself into thinking I can handle it.
ha ha ha.

I can't! as if to say...

Hi my name is Kristin...I am one of those people. {eeeek!}

One of those people insentient on jumping in and getting all muddy in the pit 
{possibly flailing or rolling around in the mud...,Oh my, in my humanness.}
and dusting myself off out of my daily mess because  
I am used to this life mess....
as if holding onto my all as if a child that 
holds tight to an old stuffed animal that is dirty and falling apart.

But we love our messes so much...for what reason I ask?

Funny how security even if not healthy or really negative feels right?
Are you confused yet? {Smile}


I hold onto it because it is what I know.  
As much as I hate it I hold tightly to it.
Not healthy by the way!!!!! 

I am ready to let go of it. It is too heavy for me to hold after all.

If you are feeling this way too, you know we really can let go of it for God's best? 
We can!

Using sugar {sin} because it looks sweet.  
It is not. 
When all I needed really in my heart  
was a pinch of salt {His light/word/truth}.

As if to say God you can have it all, okay?

Today I will take just this one thing back! 

I do say pretty please though! 

It is polite after all as my Mamma taught me to use my manners! 
Your Mamma probably taught you this too.
GOD IS NOT SURPRISED by this action in me! 
I know, I know, I am surprised by this too!  

I wish He {God} were surprised though!

Like, God would say...Oh My Land Kristin, that is just so not of your character!

Surprise...it is.

He smiles gently at me, possibly a bit frustrated and says bless her and 
lets me stumble, get muddy, bloody, dust off and learn. 

Here we go again.....

Are you muddy too? Again, it could just be me!

So today, I had just a normal heart to heart talk with Him.
I actually talk with Him all the time.
Yes, He knows our tender voices.

I know His.

I just need to listen and quit interrupting!

This morning though was one of those real, 
God, solid of my soul,  I lean into you  and yes, you can have my dirty stuffed animal
that I hold onto so tightly kind of prayers.
As if we washed the stuffed animal {my pains and all}
and gave it to Him for good not to be seen again kind of deals.

I want God to become the joy of my soul.
I come with a humble and contrite heart.

Please forgive me of me. 
Mold me and make me the woman You desire me to be.
Make my life what You really want it to be.
A sweet melody to you. 
A life you can say "Go Girly...you did me proud!"
"You became a woman after my heart."
That would be so amazing to me!

On my own I try to keep a sober view of me with my 
fierce~grace never give up attitude that I talked about earlier.
However,
I am not Amazing...even if I dream I wish I could be sometimes.
Only with Him in me is there anything Amazing of quality value.

 
Show me God, how to not just read your Word, but know it. 
Write your sweet and bold words on the tablet 
of my heart and help me act according your complete word.

Yep, do your word...beyond all emotions...
Because that emotion thing.....will fail you ever time.
Because feelings change. They just do!
And sometimes feelings take us places we wished we did not go!

No, I am not even kidding you!

God, today I am giving these things that keep well,
landing me in that muddy pit.
I don't want to be muddy, dusty or bloody anymore.
I just don't, thank you very much. 

I mean I am a pinch OCD~clorox~clean and everything 
has to have order kind of girl after all 
and muddy does not fit my personality! {Smile}

I want to be free and fly and have my heart 
open with light in it and a pinch of salt too.
I pray the same for you if you are less than brave some days too.
We can get Brave though! We can and will!
A little bit of Salt and Light for ya.
 "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
ouch! {me}
 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:13-16
So for today and every second ahead. 
Shine on Bright and Beautiful Please!

I mean, I used my manners and said please, wink!